All we need is...

As corny as it sounds, I won't put "love" on top of the list. Why? Because I've just realized that in order to be able to give and receive love, one needs to feel a certain kind of PEACE. ☼ An inner serenity. That feeling of freedom in being oneself. When you can finally be at peace with yourself. That's when you can give and receive love with all your heart.

I lost a friend today. Not literally lost, thank God. He's alive and well, but his heart is aching. Someone whom he thought of as his friend betrayed him, lied to him and hurt him in the most horrifying way possible. How? By being obsessed with him, by stalking him and harassing him and his friends, lying about them, to the point where he decided to withdraw from anyone and anything just to find some peace of mind. 

Which leads me to what you thought I was going to talk about [and now I will talk about]: LOVE. ♥

You know...I'm not too old as to think I'm entitled to give advice, share opinions and thoughts from my own experience, but not too young not to. I had my share of pain, just like any other human being on the face of the earth. But what I took from every experience was each time, a simple lesson, which later proved to be of utmost importance in my life and extremely helpful at times. It would take me hundreds if not thousands of pages to describe each one of my experiences and the lessons I've learned from them. I might not even remember them all. I mean I'm sure I forgot a lot of the experiences I've been through so far. But the lessons have stayed with me throughout time. And I guess, that's what's important. If you neglect the fact that there's a lesson after each one of your experiences, be they pleasant or sad, and you don't care to learn it, then you're as good as dead. Dead inside, that is. What's the use of a walking robot, then?  I ask you. Isn't the purpose of this life to be as alive as possible, as present in your own life as you can be  and not become a  walking robot, eventually dying inside? At least that's what motivational speakers tell us. And so far, I haven't heard one "follower" complain.

I do wanna share a simple lesson I've learned. I might feel ashamed to share it [and actually I am] but I will share it nonetheless. Because if there's even a single human being who can use my experience and the lesson I've learned to help himself have a better life [and not hurt other people in reaching this goal], then I've reached my purpose.

I wanna tell you about the time when LOVE to me meant none other than walking hand-in-hand with my boyfriend. A kiss on the cheek, or even one on the mouth, but not even a French one. [Ok, maybe a French one once in a while.] An innocent teenage love, you might say. Only that there was something which turned it into something else called selfish love. Which isn't really love. Actually, that's no love at all. Its name is rather Jealousy or Possessiveness. The feeling that you OWN a person, that he belongs to you and only you,  therefore that person is at your disposal. 

I did that... To my shame, I did that to someone and I am still not able to forgive myself to this very day. It wasn't what you'd call jealousy: I wasn't stalking him to see who he meets, where and when and most importantly why. Nope. It was worse: I felt I had the right to know what he did, when, where and why, like the poor guy had to explain every second of his life to me. And the worse part? He was telling me everything and I didn't believe him. That, my friends, is the breef portrayal of a creepy, awful, possessive person. I got better throughout our time together, he made me understand I was wrong, but it took him such a long time to convince me I had been hurting his feelings, that by the time I understood what was the root of all this problem, we had already broken up.

I knew I messed everything up with my crazy behavior. I knew it and it broke my heart that I've broken his heart more than the idea of us having just broken up did. I was a mess, but at least I figured out, piece by piece, what made me act like such a lunatic. It was lying within me. It was my low self -esteem. I'd always felt I wasn't good enough for anyone, so why would this relationship make it any better? So I was taking it out on him: I needed something to make me feel like I have my own rights, you know? Like I can be good at something, too. And I chose it in the worse and most rude way possible: thinking I'm the boss of someone. That he owns me explanations all the time. That he needs to tell me why the heck he can't see me today, which doesn't normally sound necessarily bad, unless asking your loved one to give you all the details of why he can't see you today, including what he'll do later if he still won't see you anyway [No wonder the poor guy tried to protect himself from me]. Until one day he poured his heart out to me and I got to see so much anger, confusion, madness and even hate there, that I was left speechless. I was shocked! He was breaking up with me, possibly finding another girl, and there was nothing I could do about it. It was at the point of no return. 

So, bruised and battered, I gathered my broken pieces together and I tried to draw a conclusion from all this. That took a while, but I ended up having learned... a life lesson. And that, my friends, is that I hadn't known how to love up to that point and it was high time I opened my heart, soul and mind to fully understanding and experiencing the most wonderful feeling in the world. Understand that loving is not owning. To love is to trust. And feel free and have a happy heart, safe in the knowledge that your loved one knows that "feeling free" doesn't mean you're in search of other hearts, and that you know he feels the same way too. That everything is out there, spoken and when it's like that, there's no need for thousands of explanations and finding excuses. 

I've learned that, even if he finds another girl, I don't have to take it out on her or him [and thankfully, I didn't]. 

And there were so many more lessons I've been given to learn...

Life suddenly becomes so beautiful when you let your mind accept the possibility that someone may not like you as much as you like them, and it's ok to hurt, but you have to move on. I mean, after all, aren't you curious to see what life has in store for you? You never know, in your quest to learning all lessons life has to offer, you might even meet your soulmate. Yep, when you least expect it. Wouldn't it be horrifying to get old and die without having at least tried to open your mind to this possibility? 

Every experience brings a lesson along. A lesson given by God/Universe/Nature to make us grow spiritually and find our inner light. Discover who we are and what is our role here. When we'll no longer frown at the idea that we're here to learn and evolve spiritually, we'll live a better life, where our hearts will always sing a joyful song. 

Which brings me to my last subject for today: MUSIC. ♫ No matter how much I'd write about that, I would never feel that's enough. To sum it up, I just feel my life would make no sense without this infinity of tonalities, sounds, rhythms, beats and notes. Am I wrong to think that even you, my friend, feel the same way? :) I guess I'm not. Everyone loves music. Of course, someone loves a certain kind of tonality and rhythm, some other loves a totally different one. But that's just question of taste, as they say. To me, it's more like a question of how much you identify with a certain kind of tonality, beat, sound. If it "strikes a chord" in you, to put it musically. If it touches your heart in such an unexplainable way, that you wish you'd invented that combination of sounds and beats. If it speaks to your soul in magical ways. 

To me, Music and Love are directly connected. Real music is made out of love. Whether out of love for a specific human being, or out of love for the entire humanity and the nature. Anything outside of that is not music to my ears, for it disturbs the heart, it annoys the mind and it destroys the soul. Why? Because it doesn't bring peace to any of them. [But that's just me.]

You see...in the end, it all boils down to LOVE, PEACE AND MUSIC.


If you're not at peace with yourself and the human beings around you, if you're always mad, constantly seeking revenge and enjoying hurting others, then you don't let love install into your heart, soul and mind. If you don't have love, you can't hear the music of your heart, and most certainly can't feel the music of other people's hearts, so you cannot enjoy the beauty and the magic of life.

Yeah, the magic of life. Don't miss it.






*DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the pictures above. All the rights belong to their respectful owners.